What the hell is that…….!?!
I turned to get a better view.
Was it the light……? My posture….?
I twisted and contorted. Tried tensing and breathing in.
It was still there.
I’d just got out of the shower. I’d been shaving. A task that has evolved these days to be a spherical, multi-orbital journey of the clippers around my head, chin and face. It was my dignified solution to the grim reality of a thinning hairline.
I was just checking for any rogue tufts that may have been missed when I saw something. It ran under my arm, just below my lat.
A fold.
I tried to make it go away. Shifting in the light, flexing and bracing.
It wasn’t going anywhere. It smiled at me like a sinister fleshy grin from Gotham’s Joker.
I felt ill.
That isn’t what I think it is……?
It f*****g is! That’s a f*****g roll of fat!
I bounced gently, bracing to retain tension wherever it was possible. The fold giggled.
O – M – F – G.
You see this was a first for me and I hadn’t seen it coming.
A year ago my normal weekday would consist of walking to the gym, an hour’s Crossfit class, walking home, a quick turnaround, a cycle to work, a BUSY day at work stood up in the kitchen with minimal eating, followed by the cycle home.
I could eat what I wanted when I got home. If anything I struggled to eat enough.
But …… things had changed.
I’d left my job after a climax of issues with the company directors just as Covid was taking hold. It meant as the situation was unfolding and lockdown was squeezing I had become unemployed. The timing wasn’t good.
Then of course the gyms closed.
With our household income halved plus the restrictions of lockdown, we took the executive decision to cancel our gym membership for the foreseeable future.
A period of intense house upgrading ensued as I sought to maximise the usage of my free time.
At least I could be useful and get some stuff done whilst out of work.
The thing with a lot of DIY is it’s surprisingly tiring. It was enough to break the cycle of self motivated exercise which had been maintaining the lockdown fitness levels. It soon meant that exercise reverted to our bare bone reliance on walks in the Peak District (which had always been part of the routine anyway).
With questions about my future career in the air, it seemed the prudent thing was to stay proactive. After a period of research I decided to upskill in technology and enrolled on a Tech course to learn the fundamentals of computer coding.
I was now spending consecutive days at a desk, akin to a 9-5 routine. This was a first for me. It also meant I had significantly more opportunity and inclination to eat.
It was the perfect storm.
As I looked in the mirror it all came together…….
……. and accumulated on my flanks.
The war of ‘middle aged spread’ had begun and unbeknown to me, flab had already made the first cut.
Right.
I realised I needed to sort this out.
